Abide and Enjoy the fajita — I’ve had a sticky note on my dash with this reminder all summer.
It’s a lesson I thought I had “learned” several years ago…
Being a typical goal-oriented, box-checking, achievement-driven, firstborn it’s natural for me to think in if/then scenarios. If I have all the right answers and do all the right things then I won’t have to question why or find myself in an undesirable situation…[riiiiiiight, if only, haha]
Back as a ballet student, I thought “if I try 110% in class, apply all my corrections, show up on time, have a pleasant attitude, learn the choreography quickly (both my part and someone else’s, hehe), don’t ever let them see me upset, never have holes in my tights etc, etc then I’ll get the casting or the promotion that I want” I learned quickly that it doesn’t work that way. All those ifs are good and desirable goals but it’s not a formula and the outcome isn’t contingent on whether I’ve checked all the boxes.
Sometimes you just have to choose not to try to figure it out.
Lately, I’ve found myself slipping into that mentality spiritually. If I learn this lesson, spend time daily with Jesus, pray a lot, tell others about Jesus, etc, etc then I’ll be rewarded with blessing XYZ.
I don’t think I necessarily acted from this motivation but I noticed subconsciously my thoughts were filtering through it. I was getting frustrated because according to all the books/worldly advice/outward appearances, I was following the formula but not getting the desired results.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Rebekah — pride check. Who are you to think that you can manipulate God!? Again, all of those things are wonderfully desirable and amazing habits to have but my heart wasn’t in the right place. That’s not living under grace but under the law!
A sweet reminder came while reading Brennan Manning’s Patched Together:
“When you get to heaven, Little Friend,…Abba will not ask you how many prayers you said or how many souls you saved. No, he’ll ask, ‘Did you enjoy the fajita?’ He wants you to live with passion in the beauty of the moment, accepting and enjoying his gifts”
How beautiful. The pressure is off!
He’s simply asking me to enjoy the fajita. To cease striving and abide + rest in the Truth that HE is God. To find my true delight in HIM without expecting a “reward” of the desires of my fleshly heart. Scripture says the pure in heart will see God; HE is the Desire Giver and every good and perfect gift is from Him alone — it’s nothing that I’ve earned. HE is faithful to finish the work He starts and to fulfill the calls HE’s placed on my life.
And when my heart attitude is one of gratefulness + grace, my actions are motivated by love rather than trying to earn love. It’s backwards and completely freeing.
I want to live like that.
Jesus, you are all we need, be all that we want. Forgive us for cheapening your grace down to formulas and checklists. Teach us to simply enjoy the fajita that your grace might flow through us from pure hearts.