growing

There’s a creative movement exercise I do with little ones where we pretend to be a seed in the ground. After a rainstorm, Mr. Sunshine dries the dirt on top of us and we send our fingers into the space above us to grow into a beautiful flower, spinning slowly and opening our petals. Looking back on 2013 this is almost a picture of my journey. Seeds of obedience, planted in the storm finally blooming in vibrant color.  

I began 2013 at a low point. Things weren’t looking the way I had envisioned in my head. Yes, Bluebird was growing and taking off (often this is what kept me going) but personally, I felt stuck. I knew I was supposed to be dancing yet as I looked at my career, I was discouraged. 

In my mind, I hadn’t “made it” yet. Was I ever going to get a contract? To me, that piece of paper validated that I was a “real” dancer. My identity as a dancer was found in a paycheck. 

”That’s not the point" God whispered, “You are no more or less of a dancer because of a signature on a dotted line. You are a dancer because I called you to be. Let me use you where you are.” It took a few months for this to sink in.

At the same time, I was in the process of finding a healthier dance environment. The Georgia Ballet had hired a new artistic director (whom I love and previously took classes from in NYC) and I began taking company class. In June, Alex said he would be happy to hire me but because of financial reasons, it would only be project based. 

Still no contract. But for the first time I was ok with that. Because the title “company artist” doesn’t define me–God does. He gave me the gift of dance and knows where it will bring His name the most glory–whether it be in the lobby of Egelston, the stage of the Cobb Energy Center, or the rainforest of Panama. 

The first class back after returning from Panama, I was stretching when one of administrative staff came to the doorway of the studio. “Rebekah, this is for you,” she handed me a manila envelope. It was a contract!! 

As I’m in this season of seeing the fruit of obedience, soaking up the sunshine and enjoying the blue skies, His faithfulness leaves me in awe. Like that seed planted in the storm, watered by the driving rain, made strong by resisting the wind. The growing process hurts but His grace is enough. Hang on. Keep going. Obedience is worth it. He who called you is faithful and will bring it to pass.